How much do you help?

Abs is busy working on her "The History of Mr. Potato Head" storybook.

It's an adorable idea, and she has worked hard on it, but she also has a problem with fine motor skills and handwriting, so it's hard for her.  She's done an amazing job so far, and while the handwriting might not be the neatest, it's a cute story complete with illustrations.

When I got her after quiet time this afternoon (where I found her in the closet reading, go figure), she asked me if I would complete her project.  Heck no!

Apparently I am the only parent that will not be doing the project for their child.  I find that hard to believe.

As a teacher, I could tell whose parents did all the work, and those that obviously did it themselves, got extra praise and attention.  (Remember I taught second grade)

I help my kids come up with ideas, materials, and motivate them to do the project, but I believe that they should give it their best shot.  Heck, I've read blogs where people were in college and having their parents complete their projects, and goodness knows I finished college, and graduate school (twice), so I really don't need to do it again.  I'm sure the parent that helped their daughter finish their college project, also probably did all their other projects leading up to that point.

So....how much do you help?  Am I ruining her life by not helping?

I'm so sorry....no, really, he didn't leave me!

Back when we were stationed at Fort Lewis, many moons ago, I took a Parenting with Love & Logic class.  Gunner of course was in the field, so I had my assistant at work that volunteered to come over to babysit.  I introduced myself the first night, and then attended class once a week for about 6 weeks.

Near the end of the 5th class, our instructor came over to ask me how things were going.  I told her that my husband had left, but that so far so good.  She gave me this huge hug and told me how sorry she was that he was gone.  I looked puzzled, and said that he was gone for a month.  She thought he had walked out on the girls and me.

Fast forward to yesterday at the girls' school, and I was chit chatting with one of the moms and one of the dads, and we were talking about potty training.  The mom had a 4 year old and had battled potty training as well, and she was asking if Junior was fully trained.  I told her no, that since my husband had left and we had moved across town, that I was kind of holding off for a bit.  The dad jumped in and asked if it was possible for my ex to spend more time with his son, and maybe that would help.  It shocked me, and I explained that I was married, but that he had deployed to Afghanistan.

I guess I am so used to being around people in the same situation, and goodness knows at The Great Place, that almost everyone can understand your situation.  Now that we live in a relatively large town, I forget that we are around people again that don't get it.

What things have you said that people misunderstood because they weren't used to the military way of life?

Abs in Action

Abs in front of the Air Force Academy chapel--purple shorts, pink shirt, camo hat, boots, and carrying a ziploc bag containing about 30 pencils.  You apparently never know when you will need a sharp one.

I wish I had more pictures of her antics, but usually at the time I am so irritated that I can't even think straight.

Abs is back to waking early, although it is only 5, so it's better than 2 or 3.  In our new house we have light beige, cream like carpet.  (Can I just add, that the carpet they put in housing should be black so I can't see "stuff" on there from previous families!)  I bought red jello cups with fruit....do you see where this is going?  I now have red jello ground into my carpet.  That's what happens when there is some jello left in the container and you try to cram 5 of them under the chair in the living room at once.

Currently our house is overcome with the smell of lavender.  It is supposed to have a calming effect, and sometimes on a rough day/night, I will put A FEW drops in Ab's bath.  Well more is better right?  I was sitting downstairs talking to my mom when I was overcome with the smell of lavender from UPSTAIRS.

I dragged my super sore body (the new trainer is a killer) up the stairs and found Abs soaking in half a bottle of essential oils lavender, and a few inches of water.  I should have known when she wanted to take a bath in the middle of the afternoon that something was up.  I wanted to trust her.  I'll let you know how calm a half a bottle of the stuff makes her.  I could only hope.

Maybe she needed to have a relaxing lavender infused bath after I talked to her teacher today and now have a conference scheduled for Monday afternoon.  I am currently waiting for an email about the events that occurred.  I.can.hardly.wait.

I love this kid dearly, I really do.  This weekend we will be completing her book The History of Mr. Potato Head.  Basically that means that I sit near her and redirect her to complete the project in short increments, while listening to her explain the finer points of how "You are the only mom that makes me do my own work".  It's loads of fun for both of us, and I assure her that one day she can be their (the other kids) boss.

Wish us both luck!

Letting some things slide

Trying to keep three kids involved with everything that they need, while Gunner is deployed, is turning out to be difficult to say the least.

Junior gets out of preschool at 4:15 and on the opposite side of town I am supposed to have Abs at OT at 4.  Then you tack in that every other week Em has Girl Scouts at 4 right in the middle of the town, something had to give.

I called OT, because that was the only thing I had the power to change.  They said they had three weeks of therapy open at 8:30 AM.  I think I can make that work.  I hope I can.  I'm disappointed she has to go back to missing school, but it's all I can do right now.

I should cut myself some slack.  Now to try to figure out when they can take ice skating lessons and TKD.  Nothing like a little excitement!  At least my new momagenda will be here and I can see everything laid out on paper, which makes it easier.

Em is going camping this weekend, so I am trying to find some fun stuff to do with Abs and Junior.  I guess there is always the museum in Denver that they love.  It will take us several visits before we see it all.

I had Junior's preschool orientation yesterday.  They asked for questions and he raised his hands and asked where the bathroom was.  He had already pooped in his pants.  Maybe he will be potty trained one day.

Personal training today and then Junior is going to take advantage of the 16 free hours of daycare and spend a few hours there this afternoon so I can get some things done.  I've got a list of things to knock out, but I am going to miss my little sidekick....although not enough to cancel his reservation!

How do you handle the guilt of not being able to do it all while they are gone, or do you not have any?  Tell me I'm not the only one that beats themselves up!

What a change

Last year when Abs would come home from school, she never had anything good to say.  I have no friends.  We don't do anything but worksheets.  I'm so bored.  No matter how many times I talked to her teacher, and even though she had about a hundred years of experience, Abs was bored.  

Granted we have only been in school for a week, but every day when I pick up the girls, Abs is so excited about school!  It's such a change from last year and so nice to hear her talk about friends that she is made, activities that they are doing, and things that she has learned.  Em is starting to settle in, and has gotten over not switching classes, and she loves her teacher.  Hopefully this year continues to go this smoothly.

I have orientation for Junior's preschool tomorrow.  They know he isn't potty trained, and told me to send him in underwear.  Maybe they know a magic trick?  He will only go for a few hours in the afternoon, and in the morning he will go on post twice a week.  I wasn't planning on doing two preschools, but since I workout in the morning and he just hangs at the Y, where they basically monitor the kiddos, I thought he might get more out of a controlled environment.  We'll see how it works, but he is excited about both schools.  I'm just hoping he gets potty trained!

Both of these schools are costing me a whopping $44 a month.  One is free (through the school district) and they will evaluate him for an IEP and if he doesn't qualify then they will give me a note which I can submit to insurance and then he will get his speech therapy.  At least that is how it is supposed to work!

I registered the kids for CYS, and it has changed so much.  We get 16 free hours of daycare a month, $300 per kiddo to use on SKIES classes (language, dance, swim lessons, sports, etc.), registration was free, and I know that they will take the necessary precautions for his egg allergy.  

This also frees up my time to volunteer with both Junior and the girls, which they are all excited about.  I can workout, try Crossfit, and start my 30 day challenges (more to come on that one!).  

So.....what programs does your post/base offer if your spouse is deployed?  Do you take advantage of them?    What more could they offer to make your life just a little bit easier?  (Ours also will mow our lawn once I submit his deployment orders)

Tonight is also my favorite night of the week....trash night.  4 down, 48 to go.

Merry-Go-Round?

Remember all those unsafe toys we used to have on the playground?  I remember being in elementary and having this huge "rainbow", which was a wooden arch with pegs out the side.  We would climb up it, turn around on the 4 inch wide beam, and then shimmy down.  I don't see those anywhere anymore.  We always had kids that were falling off of it and getting hurt.

Another piece of playground equipment that we haven't seen in years, is the merry-go-round.  I remember kids pushing people so fast and furiously that they would throw up.  Other kids would try to jump off and I remember more than one broken arm or leg in elementary from this piece of equipment.

I had totally forgotten about the merry-go-round until we went to the park yesterday.  Junior didn't know what it was.

His sisters filled him in, and in no time he was hooked.  He was begging kids to come ride it so that he could push them in circles.

He finally mastered pushing and jumping on for the ride, and was in heaven.

I never liked the merry-go-round because I always felt sick after riding on it.  

What other pieces of playground equipment do you remember as a kid, that they don't usually have now because they are deemed "unsafe"?

I need help!

I can ask this, because Gunner said he wasn't able to access my blog in Afghanistan.  Guess those people don't know good blog reading when they see it!

Anyway, Gunner's 40th birthday is next month.  (That totally blows me away since I met him when he was 23!!!)

I'm stumped as to what to get him, or what to do for him.

I'm trying to think of something that will mean a lot, not cost a lot, and will be a great memory.  Everyone wants to have a special 40th birthday, and while we are going to plan something special when he gets back--I'm thinking a trip somewhere really cool sans kids--I don't want him to feel totally alone on his birthday.

So all 332 of you, I am sure you can provide me one inspirational idea that I can do or a combination of things that I can do to make him feel special while is halfway around the world.  Give me your best please, I am at a total loss!

Just smile...

I think he said something to the effect of "Just smile and she'll quit taking our picture."

I seem to have a thousand pictures of each pose, which is one downfall of a digital camera.  They aren't all bad, they are just different, and I can't seem to get rid of them.

In my "Great Downsizing 2010", I am purging pictures too.  My delete button is getting a workout, and when I am not doing that, I am ridding my house of extra beer glasses (three and a half years in Germany gave me enough, I don't need any from the States!), belt buckles (Gunner doesn't even wear belt buckles, so why am I carting this around?), wax candles of animals (do I really need a walrus in my shrunk?), and more and more clothes.  If you were to visit my house now, you wouldn't know I come from a long line of hoarders!  I told Gunner he would be shocked.  

I haven't gotten to my overflowing garage (boy do I miss my basement), but my neighbor was telling me that because of our location there have been mice that have gotten in the garage.  Eek! My goal now is to have the garage purged before the first snow, so I can park my car inside.  Wish me luck, especially since I now have to figure out what to do with all these bikes we own.  I'm sure there is some kind of mounting system I can use.....any recommendations?

I've heard from Gunner several times over the last couple of days, and all is well in the land of the Taliban.  He's in a very small location, not so good conditions, and is still smiling.  The shower shack had been broken since he arrived, but it was fixed the other day so I am hoping he was finally able to shower.  I can't imagine sharing a tent with 23 other guys smelling that gross.  Another reason I did not join the Army, I like my showers.

I'm back on the workout bandwagon and am in the process of completing my training sessions that Gunner was unable to finish.  My abs are killing me.  I got a quick two mile run in the other day, and am hoping CYS doesn't drain me so I can get another few miles in today.  Tomorrow is the one mile Walk for the Fallen here, and in two weeks is the 5K for the Fallen.

My random question of the day--What's your favorite part of back to school?  Mine has to be picking them up after the first day and hearing what happened.  It's kind of like a Fox News ticker in that they tell me once and then repeat the same thing over and over.  It's my favorite time of the day.  

Wordless Wednesday

Gunner has been gone half of Junior's life....goes to show you that it is quality, not quantity.

Did Abs survive the first day of school?

When I went to parent/teacher conferences last week, they gave me a few assignments for each of the girls.  Abs had to fill a bag with things that represented her, decorate a composition notebook, and write a journal entry for her expectations for the first day.


She filled the bag with no problem.  She used the old fisher price little people to represent each member of her family, which was a cute idea.  She was looking for a GI Joe for her dad, but couldn't find one.  She included some pictures, and of course a few plastic dinosaurs.  


One down...two to go.


She didn't want to decorate the notebook, but finally relented.  


A journal entry?  She summed everything up in three sentences:
        I do not like school.  School is boring.  I do not have any expectations.


Great.  I could have sat there and made her write more, but I figured they needed to know what they were dealing with.  


I was worried about what I would hear when I picked her up.  The elementary school at the Air Force Academy, was awful.  She was miserable, which made the rest of us miserable.  


Today, she walked out with a smile on her face, a stack of books to read, and no homework.  They don't believe in sending home busy work, which is wonderful.  They did lots of team building activities, everything was hands on, and she said the difference was between night and day.  


Em had a great first day as well, and I just love, love, love her teacher.  She's going to be an amazing and inspiring teacher for those kids.


I have personal training tomorrow, and I can't wait.  Next up--30 day challenges!  


Oh, and today was trash day--3 down, 49 to go!  

Planning for the Holidays Military Style

Living so close to family last deployment, it was easy to decide what to do for the holidays.

My mom asked me the other day what I was doing for Thanksgiving.  Ummmm.....not driving to Texas with three kids and a dog by myself when there will probably be snow on the ground.

I told her she was welcome to come here, but that I was not going there.  

The girls only get a couple days off of school, so I'm thinking we will stay here, and at most go somewhere in Colorado for a change of scenery.  There's a big difference in a three hour drive than a 15 hour drive!  The thought of traveling for two days, staying one day and then traveling back two days, makes no sense.

That got me started on thinking about Christmas.  We'll probably do the same thing.  Maybe we will go skiing, or there is plenty to do around our current post, that we haven't done.

So my question to you--how do you handle the holidays while your husband is deployed?  Are you always the one doing the traveling?  Have you ever reached a point where it is just not worth the hassle of leaving your new home? 

I think we will be fine.  Maybe we could start a new tradition?  Let me know how you handle it, or if you have any suggestions on new traditions to start. 

Denver Museum of Nature and Science

I have always wanted to go see the exhibit Bodyworlds.  It was being held at the DMN&S, so I worked on convincing the kids how exciting it would be to go see bodies with no skin.  Abs wasn't buying it, so I printed off the family guide that was on the website that contained all these facts that Abs could learn while we were driving up there.  If you give her facts, she is happy.

You can't take pictures inside the exhibit, but I have to tell you, it was amazing!  To see up closely all your muscles and organs, there are no words for it.  I could totally handle being a doctor with the blood and guts.....as long as they weren't contagious!

One of my favorite things in the exhibit is where they took plastic and inserted it into the veins, and then took it all away, and you were left with the veins, capillaries, etc., throughout the entire body.  Absolutely amazing.

At one point, Abs tried to escape and asked one of the people monitoring the exhibit to escort her out.  He told me that she would be waiting at the end in a chair.  Waiting.....in a chair.....for at least the next hour????  Yeah right.  I assured him that he was fine (another mom of the year moment) and had her stay with me.  She did enjoy it, read everything, presented facts to me about the human body, and then would act like it was gross after she really studied what she was looking at.

Junior was fine looking at it all, but was fascinated with the slices of the brain sticking out of the tops of heads.  He decided "that's a cool haircut" and "I want one too".  He was more interested in why the people died, did they have cancer like his Grandpa did?

If you can go see this, definitely do!

Outside of the exhibit they had volunteers with booths setup to challenge your thinking about the human body, explain different things to you, and to quiz you.  Abs was all over the quiz booth.  You got to choose a number, answer the question, and if you answered it correctly, you received a green stamp on your arm.  

Remember those human body facts that I printed out?  In the hour and a half drive, she had memorized them all.  By the end of her stint there, she was covered in stamps and they had invited other volunteers over to watch her answer questions.  

We walked around the rest of the museum afterwards.  (It's free to military, but we did have to pay for the Bodyworlds exhibit)  They have this really neat exhibit all about your body and how it works.  

Junior checking out the veins in his hands.  You could press on them and see which way the blood was flowing, etc.  

Abs got selected to be  "whole grain" in the play they were performing.  She thought she would have been a better "super spinach".

Junior was hooked on the "nail" wall.

You can checkout your heartrate on the bikes.  Age a picture of you to see what you will look like at 70, and a million other things.  You are given a card when you arrive and you enter all your personal information on it, and then use it to perform the tasks throughout this exhibit.  At the end, you can print out your information along with a picture.

After we finished up there, I made the kids run around in circles at City Park to burn off some extra energy, then we headed to the airport to pick up Em after her London adventure.

When Em left, Abs had one request of a beefeater's hat.

Em delivered.

My emotional breakdown

My steam cleaner doesn't work and dumps water out on the floor.  The store won't take it back and there is no authorized dealer within 100 miles.  All the local repair shops won't fix it unless I pay out of pocket because they say that Hoover never pays.  So I have a dog that is going crazy because of the previous family that lived here with dogs, an 8 day old steam cleaner that doesn't work, and no husband to help me fix the whole situation.  

So overall, not a big deal, but then why am I sitting here crying over a stupid steam cleaner?  

It's just been one of those days I guess.  

I think we somehow packed and brought over to the new house a shelf from the old house.  Strange.  I guess I got pack happy.

We had meet the teacher tonight and orientation at the girls' new school.  Abs wore a polka dot dress and pink cowboy boots......she fit right in.  This school will be the best thing that happened to both girls.

After telling my mom about another load of "crap" going to the thrift store, she started to question me on specific items that she has given me in the past.  I have them all.  Would I tell her if I didn't?  Probably not.  I can't keep things anymore.  Anything.  If you want to see it again, then give it to someone else, but not me!  My little sister has the purging bug too.  Now if our mom could just catch it!

.....This morning I found a bunch of dog training treats on the floor.  Abs fed Sammy a one pound bag.  He's been making dry heaving sounds all day, so we haven't gone out to finish all the other errands that we need to do.  

I heard from Gunner a few days ago....it was so nice to talk to him.  We've already had two trash days since he left.  50 more to go.....

5k Race for the Fallen

Taken from the Active.com registration website.

Date

Saturday, September 04, 2010 @ 8:00 AM local time

Address

Fountain Fort Carson High School, Guy Barrickman Staduim
900 Jimmy Camp Road

Fees

12and under $13.95/Adults 12 and up $28.95

 

Registration Closing Date

Saturday, September 04, 2010 @ 8:00 PM

 

Brief Description

Created by the family and friends of Spc. Ronald J Tucker, our mission is to honor and remember those who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our FREEDOMS. Our creed of In the Community, for the Community represents our committment to ensure the Fountain Valley pays reverance to all of the service men and women in all military branches. DEEDS NOT WORDS

Spc Tucker was in Gunner's unit and was KIA along with their CO, Cpt Pearson.

I hope as many people as possible that live in the area come out and participate.  If you are, let me know!

Calling?

We got a note from the FRG the other day, that basically said:

1.  We do not have a number for your husbands in Afghanistan.
2.  Quit calling Rear D about stupid crap, they are busy.
3.  We do not know when extra pay will kick in, so just wait till September and if it's not there, then we'll go from there.
4.  If you are having financial hardships, then contact us and we can point you in the right direction.

It's sad that they have to write this note at all.  I haven't gotten a phone call from Gunner yet, but with no phone cards, I am not surprised!

So my question is.....do you go crazy when you don't hear from them every day?  If I hear one more person tell me that they freak the heck out if they don't hear every.single.day., then I might freak the heck out on them.

It''s only been a little over a week since he left, and I am still busy unpacking.  I have parent/teacher conferences today, the girls are at camp, I need a new driver's license, trying to get Junior into preschool, and a laundry list of other things.

Maybe it's because we have been married almost 16 years?  He's not going anywhere, and I know he misses us terribly, and will call or write when he can.  He told me once, that not having that pressure to call when he is exhausted, makes his job easier.  He saw so many Soldiers that could barely stand up, but they had to call every day and spend an hour or two on the phone in order to keep the wife/girlfriend happy.  That gave them little sleep at night, which led to them being exhausted on a mission, where they really can't afford to be tired.

I guess I am low maintenance in that respect.  Oh sure there are times that I want him to call, but I won't lose it if he doesn't.

Tell me I'm not the only one please!

Time is flying away from me!

Tons to blog about, but maybe when I am down to one kid this week I will have more time.

I did make these brownies, and they were amazing!  I used tapioca flour, almond flour, and some other kind since I was out of regular flour.  The kids gobbled them up.  They were amazing.  (I also used flax seed in place of eggs since Junior can't eat them)  The blog belongs to a friend of my friend Dave, and she is like superwoman--marathons, insane workouts, full time job, two kids--an example that you can do it all!  (I need to get back into doing more!)

I am still slowly unpacking, have already taken out the trash once--only 51 more trash days left!  (The place where we moved has trashcans, woohoo?)

Today we are heading out to Pikes Peak National Forest to take the girls to Camp Purple.  I hope Abs can hang, because I could use the down time to get the house finished.  

Em is home from London (as of last night), but Junior and Abs and I managed to have an adventure before we picked her up.  I like to keep busy!

I am meeting with my personal trainer on Monday, parent/teacher conferences are this week, and I will only have one kiddo!  After having three, I could probably move a mountain with just one.  

Gunner still has not made it to his final destination, his elbow is infected (we though he pulled something after moving us), and he continues to crack jokes from a distance.  I forgot to send a phone card, my Sam's membership expired (now renewed), so it's on my list of things to do today.  

Oh, and just so you don't think it has been all fun and games, our toilet had to be removed from the wall, Junior woke up barfing and we were out of food, so I had to take him to the commissary, and Abs....well she is just Abs. 

Milspouse Friday Fill-In

This week’s questions are
1.What is something you wished you’d learned to do earlier in life?

I wish I had learned to ski.  I've been a couple of times, and while I have gotten better (trust me, it was hard for me to get much worse), I would love to be able to swoosh down the slopes.  
2.What is your biggest pet peeve with the military?

Deployments are starting to wear me a little thin.  I'm all about Gunner doing his part, but why has he been gone 3 years in Iraq and now to Afghanistan, when some guys haven't been yet.  My friend asked her ex's CO that same question because hers never deployed.  He answered with "You don't want an idiot with you".  While that doesn't apply to all people, how do you make it an entire enlistment and not go anywhere?  

1. What tourist attraction near you have you never seen?

That's easy to answer since we have only been here a year.  I haven't seen Pikes Peak, with the kids.  I saw it when I was 7, but that was years and years and years ago.  

1. What are you avoiding doing right now?

Folding laundry so I can go to bed.  I dread folding laundry.  It's not the actual folding, but the delivering and putting away, which if I don't do, I see the same clothes in the laundry again.  A never-ending cycle...

1. Wine, beer or liquor?

I like it all, but lately it is wine.  I loved the beer in Germany though!

Who's in this with me?

Who else is dealing with deployment right now?  I'd like to make sure I am reading your blog, so please leave a comment with a link!

While you are at it, why don't you give me your best deployment tip, I could use a few new ones.  Thanks!

Wordless Wednesday--Saying Goodbye

Something I Heard

Part of the problem with deployments, is that there is a lot of sitting around and waiting.  There's only so many times you can say "I love you" or "I'll miss you", and you spend a lot of time sitting there not having to say a word.  At this point, I can rest my head on Gunner's shoulder, he'll put his arm around me, and we both understand.

At one point I needed to get out of the stuffy company, so I went outside where I found a Soldier talking to his buddy and his buddy's wife.  The Soldier was telling his buddy that he just didn't have any words left to say to his family, and that while they kept calling, he kept blowing them off.  Probably hard for his family, but I can understand that.

Anyway, after the Soldier's buddy and his wife went back inside the company, the Soldier got on his cell phone and called his mom.  I couldn't help but listen into the conversation, okay, so I was eavesdropping on this 21 year old kid that was about to head out.

Soldier:  Hey Mom, sorry I don't call, I just don't have anything to say.

More chit chat between mom and son.

Soldier:  I was just talking to my best friend and his wife.  He's got it hard Mom, he's got a wife and a baby and she has two other kids from a previous marriage.  He's got a family, and he has to leave them.  I know you don't want to hear this mom, but my job over there is to make sure that he comes back to his family.

Soldier:  I'd do anything mom, anything to make sure he comes home.  I don't have kids, my job is to keep him safe.

At this point I had to leave before I started sobbing.  This kid is 21 years old and is more worried about making sure his buddy comes home than himself.  You can't get much more selfless than that.

When you enter post, there is the Soldier's Creed.  The kids like to read it while we drive by.  Last night I saw yet another man, that lived by it.

I am an American Soldier.

I am a Warrior and a member of a team. I serve the people of the United States and live the Army Values.

I will always place the mission first.

I will never accept defeat.

I will never quit.

I will never leave a fallen comrade.

I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills. I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself.

I am an expert and I am a professional.

I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy the enemies of the United States of America in close combat.

I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.

I am an American Soldier.