The end of block leave

It always leaves a pit in my stomach.

I know what's coming up, and now it's just a waiting and wishing game.  Waiting for the time to come and Gunner to leave, and wishing that time would go slower.

We packed in as many memories as we could, now we just need to do family pictures, which I still haven't arranged, and I am hoping for a miracle that it will get done in time.

We are crossing the final paperwork off our list.

He needs to go back and sign in off of leave, but that makes it too final.

It's back to work tomorrow and the countdown I have been dreading, begins.

You know a deployment is looming when....

You know a deployment is looming when...

--He returns home with two bags of gear that the Army decides he NEEDS.  Never mind that he has another 20,000 pounds of TA50 downstairs, and many of these items are duplicates.

--He has a date for the CONEX to be packed and it is too soon.

--They repaint the bottom of their bags.

--They get issued the new FRACU.

--Mountain boots have joined the pile of required gear and are being worn around the company in order to break them in.

--Block leave plans have been made, cemented, and are set in stone until the Army changes their mind.

--He drags out his hair clippers to pack so that he can keep his head shaved.  (His first deployment to Bosnia, half the guys got mange, so he goes bald every deployment)

--He makes an appointment to get new POA's.

--I refuse to let him feed mac and cheese to the kids, so I know they will eat it while he is gone.

--He refuses to buy new clothes.

What else would you add to the list?

Give me your best!

So Gunner leaves in less than 5 months, and I am trying to come up with new ideas and things to do for both the kids and myself.  I usually go 125 mph the entire deployment, but since each deployment is different, this one might not be that way?  (knock on wood)

What was the best thing you did for the kids while your Soldier was deployed?

What helped you the most?

What was the one thing you wish you had prepared for before they left?

Any good books that you recommend?  

What's the one thing that helped you the most?

Last deployment I counted trash days in order to make the keeping of time bearable.  Now, because of bears, we have a dumpster with locks.  

What can I count now?  Number of times I have to unstop the toilet?  How many nights Abbie doesn't sleep?

I need some fresh input on how to survive our 5th year long deployment.  Hmmm....maybe I should count weeks until retirement?  

On a roll....

The Army has a habit of giving block leave dates and then changing them as they see fit.

Deployment date got moved up, so block leave got cut short.

In the past, they always have changed it a day or two and with no tickets or reservations, you are out of luck.  That gave me the kick in the pants I needed to book our entire vacation this week.  I have a schedule of events, now I just need to find the best deals and make it happen....by Sunday.

I told the kids where we were going and they were excited.  I then told them before that we were going to Texas, and they came unglued.  They don't know why anyone would want to live anywhere else but Texas.

Since I planned the Texas trip, I was able to commit to two triathlons.  One with a friend, and one with my sister!  I can't wait, but I have a lot of training to do before then.

I won four tickets to see The Magic Flute tonight!  Should be a lot of fun, and this will be the first opera that I have seen auf Deutsch.  Em is excited about it, and my friend is coming down to go with us.  I'm still working on convincing Abs that it will be fun.  She loves opera, but it also might be too late of a night for her.

Yesterday was a 4 mile run and an hour advanced step class.  I need to squeeze in a workout today too.

Em is headed off to a tennis clinic at the Academy.

I registered Abs for her first week of camp!  She's excited, and I am terrified.  This is the same girl that got kicked out of VBS.

Gunner hasn't been home a month yet, but he leaves again in less than 5 months.  Time to get busy getting everything together!  More on that later...

Preparing for Deployment

You would think after 4 year long deployments, I would be an old pro at this, but every deployment is different, and so it's time to start thinking about this next one.

Gunner hasn't deployed to Afghanistan before, so I need to have plenty of time to read up on it, and learn about what is going on over there.  I am not totally oblivious to the situation, but I like to be informed.

We need to update the big white notebook that Gunner made for me last deployment.  During his first deployment to Iraq, I couldn't find POA's, and luckily he had given my mom one, so she was able to sign for housing for us.  His last deployment he made an organized notebook (since I am the most unorganized person around) that contained sections with anything and everything I could have needed--POA's for all the different possibilities, his will, daycare information, shot records, educational records, copies of deployment orders, all of our accounts organized with passwords and account numbers, emergency contact numbers, and tons of other information.  I carted that big white book around religiously, and always had anything and everything that I needed at my fingertips.  We still use it consistently, but it's time to start making sure it is updated with all of our new information, stuff about Colorado, and anything else we can think of that I might need.

Pictures.  I need to update the photo frames that each of the kids have with pictures of them with their dad.

We need to make sure that Gunner has an album with pictures of the kids to take with him, and this time, come hell or high water, I am scrapbooking a deployment countdown calendar for him to take with him and one for each of the kids.

I need to have plans in place in case one of the kids gets sick in the middle of the night, which means I need to get out and meet some people.  Ugh.  I'm not the most social person, and I seem to attract people with more issues and drama than any one person should have.  Can't I just meet some people that 1. Like their kids, 2.  Like to get out and do things, 3.  Value education, 4.  Knit, 5. Have financial sense, 6. Like to workout and do triathlons and 5 and 10 K's, 7. That are honest, and 8. Are independent?

This is just me personally, but I can't stand people that sit back and wait for their husband's call every single day, don't go do anything because their husbands want them to wait till they get home, or don't take the opportunity to make their lives better for the entire family.  It's a year people, get out and accomplish something for yourself!  Go back to school, learn something new, get in shape, explore the area you live in, and realize that the year is going to pass and you can either do something with it, or waste it away.  Em told me after last deployment, that she was glad that I took on something so huge (going back to school to become a teacher) when I had all of them to take care of, plus getting in shape, and taking care of everything else.  She told me I was a great example of how to handle deployments and life.  That made me feel good and made me realize what a great example it was to them on how to take a not-so-good situation and turn it into something that made all of us better.  Just my .02 worth.

So, I am making a list of things that need to be covered over the next 10 months before Gunner leaves.  I would rather that he stay here, but I am glad that he has such an important job to do.  Once he is gone, I will wallow in self pity for a few days, and then begin my list of everything that I want to accomplish before he returns.  I'm thinking a marathon, half ironman triathlon, and learning digital photography are going to be at the top of that list.  This time I want the kids to set some deployment goals for themselves and we will pursue those as well.  Maybe they want to learn to ice skate, snowboard, run a 5K themselves?  Maybe they want to dance or learn to cook (since they won't get that lesson at home!) or travel?  Deployments in our household are viewed as a time to make things happen, so that when Gunner comes back he sees that we survived, grew, and even thrived.  While he makes our family complete, I don't want my children to look back on deployments as a time of misery and hopelessness, but rather a time when they missed their dad terribly, were proud of what he was able to accomplish and also had great accomplishments of their own that made them, me, and Gunner proud.

Deployments come whether we like it or not, but take it by the horns, you won't be sorry you did.

First Snowman of the Season

I love these guys! 

Gunner gave me the official deployment message.  Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh.  I should have known he would only be home 15 months again. 

The time has come.

We have a date.

Field Time

In Germany, Gunner would go to the field all the time. At Fort Lewis, he went about twice a year and it was for about 2-3 weeks, sometimes longer. At Hood, he has been deployed most of the time. He did leave today to go out to the field so they can play war. He wanted to be a bad guy so he didn't have to shave--he hates to shave. Shoot, he only has to shave his face, not his legs or his armpits. He's getting off easy without having to get a bikini wax or his eyebrows done.

But it's cold. Having him go to the field is just another reminder of what is around the corner for us. Em told me the other day that when he goes to Iraq she will miss him, but she is getting used to him being gone. How sad is that. She will be getting ready to go into Junior High when he returns and she is only in 4th grade now.

When he deploys, I do tell him about all the milestones they reach, funny stories about the kids and he talks to them when he is able to call. There are still so many things that he misses out on. When he came home last time, he carried Junior in and the girls were right by his side. It brought tears to my eyes when he asked the girls if he could sit up....he didn't know his own son. He told me once while he was gone that he loved him even though he didn't know him. How heartbreaking is that? Gunner has more than made up for the missed time when he returns, but the thought of having him miss out again...sigh....no words to describe it.

Paperwork and Deployments

Today I had an appointment to get the kids enrolled in Child and Youth Services on post. This will allow the older two to have access to School Age Services if needed and for Junior to be enrolled in hourly daycare and have some interaction with other kids on occasion. I was early for my appointment as I usually am for every appointment--I may not be organized but I am prompt! I actually did have all the paperwork I needed except for the girls' physical. It took more red tape for me to enroll three children than it did for my husband and I to get married and it cost more to enroll them for one year than it cost me to give birth to all three! (Em and Junior were free and Abs cost me $11 for my meals)--it was $40 to register them. We can get that money back if DH gets a letter from his commander stating that he will deploy in less than 90 days. First I told her that it was more than 30 days and then I started to think about it and realized it wasn't. Then it hit me that he was leaving us...again....and he's not even home yet from training and still has another month of field time.

Anyway, because Junior is allergic to eggs they gave me a meal substitute form that I have to get filled out by a doctor and submit before he can be seen at the CDC. I called while she made copies and they said they didn't have the schedule out yet and it would be out later that day. I asked them if he could be seen this week and she said no it would be more like the middle to end of September. So then I told them to book Junior an appointment for his skin problems and he will be seen tomorrow and I'll have the doctor fill out the form. We aren't waiting for a specific doctor, just any random doctor in the Peds clinic. One drawback to military life, but one that usually doesn't bother me too much.

Once all this paperwork is completed and DH deploys I can get 16 free hours of daycare a month and one Saturday a month as well. They have really increased the amount of care, so maybe I can schedule a massage once a month!

I had lunch with the outlaws since my MIL kept Junior this morning for me. Saw the puppies which are going to be huge and cute. I still don't think they need two more dogs, but they don't seem to listen to me....imagine that!

Abs still hasn't had a perfect day at school yet, but she is doing better than I expected and I still have hope that she will get it altogether one day. I hope her teacher realizes what a precious gift she is! Em is doing great and working hard and loving her math class! I never thought I would hear that come out of her mouth, but I bet my dad is smiling hearing that!

Back to the deployment....with it looming around the corner I am going to try to get some free time (yeah right) and start on some of the projects I want to get done before he leaves. I would like to make him a deployment countdown calendar this time (I had intentions last time but with everything else going on it just didn't get done)and of course a scrapbook of our family. I am scheduling family pictures too with a friend of mine who is a great photographer in November and I promise I will get in these!

Neighbors

When we lived in Germany, we had awful neighbors, three sets of them. I was pleasant to them in the beginning, but once I enrolled in school to get my MBA the remarks started flying. DH and I were just married and I had just finished up my bachelor's about a year earlier. We had no children and I was not working, so it seemed like the logical next step. Then I got an internship with the State of Florida in Frankfurt. So not only was I going to school, I was working for free. My neighbors made comments to me about how "your parents should have taught you how to keep house and raise children," "why would you waste your husband's money on something like school and who would be stupid enough to work for free?". The list was endless and they just got downright nasty. I hated stairwell living and learned to ignore them. (I did have one set of neighbors that we were friends with and were normal, lol)

Anyway, I continued working for free and going to school and then eventually I got a job with the American Consulate in Frankfurt and worked for them well over a year while I finished up graduate school and then had our first child. Stairwell living was our first experience living on post and I hated it.

When we moved back to the States we went to Fort Lewis where after 8 months we qualified for on post housing. I dreaded the thought of being in such close proximity of all those other people. We kept to ourselves and I was back at work after staying home a few years and we were plugging away staying busy. During this time our next door neighbor got in a fight and the cops had to be called because his "buddy" pulled a gun as was threatening to shoot because they were drunk and a window on the car got broken. They moved out and the other neighbors moved out and then Megan and Mark moved in. For almost a year I refused to talk to them or acknowledge them for fear they would lead to turmoil. Eventually I broke down and talked to them and they were wonderful! For the next year and a half Megan and I had the time of our lives taking Thai cooking classes, playing games, traveling with our families to Canada, meeting each other's parents and more. When she left we both cried. We are still halfway across the country from each other but we talk regularly and provide support for each other as we survive deployments and face being a single parent while supporting our Soldier.

I need a Megan here. Instead I have what I refer to as "the freaks". Thankfully though, a moving van came today and the "freaks" are headed to a new adventure and thankfully it is one that does not include living next door to me. I will breathe a sigh of relief that I do not have to worry about my car being boxed in, used condoms being thrown in my yard, their dogs running loose, strange men coming and going at all times of the night while her husband is deployed, etc. (Never mind that my husband found their two year old little girl wandering the street at 7 am in a diaper and a tshirt while it was cold and rainy while trying to see into a storm drain. DH picked her up and went to go to his car to find his cell and call 911 when she pointed to her house and he went up there and knocked and gave her back.) Anyway, I know the end is in sight and these people will soon be out of the way and making someone else's life miserable.

Let's hope the next one works out better.....

Cell Phones for Soldiers

A worthy cause to help raise money to buy phone cards for Soldiers overseas. This last deployment DH was in an area where he couldn't get the really cheap rates some people had access to, so we burned through phone cards.

Cell phones for Soldiers

Support our Troops!

Study about deployments

Study: Child Abuse by Moms in Army Families Rises When Fathers Deployed

One of my neighbors doesn't need to have her husband gone to neglect her children. Another, her husband was home and DH found her not even two year old out in the cold and rain in a tshirt and diaper watching the rain rush into the storm drain.

My kids are fed, watered, taken care of and most of all loved. To hear them tell tales you would think I am mean! I don't let them get ice cream from the ice cream truck every day. I need to know where they are and who they are with. I won't let them go into other people's houses. They need to stay together. If they only knew what happened in some of these houses their views my be a little different. Some day they will appreciate what I do, but in the meantime I'll just keep on loving them.