I get kind of irritable around Valentine's Day. There are so many people that start ranting and raving about how it's a commercial holiday and doesn't matter, because their significant other shows them how much they matter every other day of the year.
Really? It sounds like a cop out to me. If you don't agree, please explain it to me.
Here's my take....
Gunner tells me he loves me all the time. He does nice things for me, and he always complements me (my favorite is when I ask him if I have lost weight, he tells me to turn sideways and then says "Where'd you go?". Cheesy, but it makes me laugh.)
Does he make a point on Valentine's day to do something special for me? Yep.
So many people say that it doesn't matter, but yet they make every other holiday count.
What about Mother's Day? Do I really need a whole day to be appreciated for being a mother? Shouldn't they do that every day? Mine say thank you if we go out to eat, appreciate that they have clean clothes, a clean house, full bellies, that I drive them to their events. I am recognized daily for being a great mom by my kids and Gunner. Why do I need my own day then?
Father's Day--Same as Mother's Day, I let him know all the time that he is appreciated as a father, so do I have to recognize this day?
Christmas--If you are religious and go to church every sunday, do you really need to celebrate the birth of Christ on December 25th? Shouldn't you be celebrating his life and what he stood for every single day?
Veteran's Day--My husband and I thank veteran's all the time. Should we not do it on Veteran's Day because we do it all the time?
Thanksgiving--I give thanks every day for what I have, the people I know, and I let them know. So should I stop celebrating Thanksgiving? (BTW, I am NOT giving up the DFAC on Thanksgiving!!!)
I could go on and on, but I just get irritated that people think Valentine's day is so commercialized. In case you have been missing from the planet, so is every other holiday out there.
So tell me, do you celebrate it? Do you hate it, and if you do hate it, why? Please don't tell me because he doesn't need a special day to recognize his love for you, give me the real reason, if you have one.
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17 comments:
I used to not care so much about it either way...but I cared a lot last year when I didn't have him here! LOL....We just went out to dinner...nothing major. Just something to spend a bit of time together! :)
We don't go out of our way for the day, but our anniversary is Feb 13, so it all kind of blends together. He was expecting to leave on Feb 12 for a month of training, so nothing was planned. He did have something special planned for our anniversary though. He found out on the 11th and he wasn't leaving till the 15th, so no, we didn't do anything. I'd be upset if he totally forgot about it, but I don't expect a lot.
I think it's a nice opportunity to reaffirm the love we feel, and it doesn't have to be just for your significant other, it can be the love you feel for other family members, etc. We do make a point to observe it and make the other feel special on that day but nothing too crazy.
http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/valentines_day/4.png
Your post reminded me of this link.
I don't know if you read my blog but if you do I may be one of the bloggers you referred to. So I figured I might try to explain myself better. I'm not saying you are wrong in saying it's a cop-out, just trying to explain why.
So, my take on Valentine's Day is not so much that it is a "Hallmark Holiday" but rather that it is hyped up to be more about the romance than the love. Sure, in many cases it goes hand in hand but for my husband and I love doesn't necessarily equal romance.
For 16 years we have loved each other but neither of us has ever been hugely romantic. There have never been rose petal covered beds or champagne breakfasts. We are best friends who love to laugh. For us the romance isn't a huge part of it. Sure, we have our cheesy moments and maybe later in our relationship once the kids are off to college and it's just us we will become more romantic, but for now our love doesn't include a whole heck of a lot of romance.
Maybe it is a cop-out, maybe deep down inside I do yearn for the romantic stuff but it's not in the cards right now. Three kids, nursing school, deployments, all of that makes for slightly les romance. Time spent together includes children and laughing.
As for other holidays I absolutely agree with you that it is important to celebrate each regardless of how you express it throughout the year. My only comment about that is that some days really are bigger than others. For us, our anniversary is a bigger day than V-day. Our anniversary symbolizes our love more so than Valentine's. I will probably cry a bit in March when our 13th anniversary rolls around and he's not here to celebrate, but today I didn't. I don't mind him missing Kwanzaa either because (even though I acknowledge that it means a lot to other people) it does not mean all that much to us.
I have to say though, if he were here I would have absolutely expected some chocolates though. Any excuse is a good one for candy.
Oh, and one more thing, I always make sure my kids have a good Valentine's. Little cards and gifts for special girls; it's fun, it's normal, it's what everyone does. I'm not anti-Valentine, I just don't get too upset when deployment comes in the way of it.
Sorry for the long comment, I just thought I might be able to explain my side since we may differ a bit in opinion. No hard feelings, right, LOL.
I adore Valentine's day. Sure, we show our love for each other every day with words and actions. But I appreciate having a day set aside to show Daniel in a few extra special ways that I'm crazy about him.
I saw this yesterday which fits your line of thinking pretty well I think.
http://theoatmeal.com/blog/valentines_day
And I like Valentine's Day. It isn't a day for chocolate or jewelry for me, because we don't really go that route. But cards and words are very much appreciated.
I do love that my birthday is a day that so many people bitch and complain about. It makes me genuinely smile. Which is probably terrible.
Loved your blog bit. I agree 100%.
To the poster of "So, my take on Valentine's Day is not so much that it is a "Hallmark Holiday" but rather that it is hyped up to be more about the romance than the love."
All I can say is Christmas hyped up to be a day about presents when really it is just a day about the "birth" of Jesus.
Thank you! I absolutely agree! It makes my skin crawl when people talk about how it doesn't mean anything and how "you should appreciate your love everyday" Uhhh DUH. But this day is just MORE special!
It is very healthy to have tradition and celebrate birthdays, Mother and Father's Day, Valentine's Day, etc... I look forward to each holiday or occasion because I plan something for my DH. I spend more time thinking about that then what it is all about. Why, because it is great to be treated special or recognized for whatever we are or do. If we do not have anyone that will do that special recognition then celebrate with yourself! Have fun and enjoy the celebration of tradition and if you haven't been, then you are missing something. The feeling you get when you celebrate someone you love is wonderful and even if it is just you! That is how I feel about Valentine's Day and all special days. 8-)
I love valentines day. I'll take any excuse to do something special for the Mr. We show our love all the time anyway, but you can't go all out every day. It's fun to have one day to be extra special to each other.
I have never been a big fan of Valentine's Day because I think people focus too much on the gift aspect (ie "He didn't take me to a nice enough dinner" or "He didn't get the right kind of flowers" etc)... but I also don't walk around saying how it's crap or anything. And I agree with you, pretty much every holiday is totally commercialized, it's not just Valentine's Day. I think it's a great day to show everyone we love how much we appreciate them, but not necessarily with gifts.
Yes. I love Valentines Day! My husband and I don't usually do something huge like jewelry. It usually is a card or one year we agreed on a gift under $5. This year, my Valentines Day gift was a text message that said, "i love you" and that was a perfect gift because he is gone to JRTC. But, for me, Valentines Day isn't a day to just love your one and only. It is a day to love everyone who is special in your life. All of my friends and family know that they are all my valentines. Cheesy? Yes, but I think it matters.
You know, this was my first V-Day as a wife, and I enjoyed the excuse to be a little silly and celebrate our love in little ways. Yeah, it felt a little strange, because that is what we do all the time, but at the same time, it was special too! Plus, I loved all the cute, fun, and romantic ideas that people were posting on blogs leading up to V-day. It gave me a lot of ideas (to use later throughout the year), and most of them cost practically nothing, always a plus. :)
I completely agree with everything you just said. No one NEEDS valentines day but it's nice to have. It's nice to set aside a day just to celebrate and make a point of reminding each other to a greater degree. And of course that's the view point of a hopeless romantic, my parents were married on Valentine's day so I think I was a gonner(sp? that word looks funny) from the start.
Ohh side note, I saw you friended me on facebook but I didn't recognize the name! and it was a picture of your husband at the time, I think, I saw camo but didn't look really close...I kept trying to connect the female name to the army guy and it wasn't working for me. I went back and looked for you but I couldn't find you...maybe I wasn't spelling something right? I wanted to apologize I wasn't being rude on purpose!
We don't go out of our way too much on Valentine's day, but we do on Mother's/Father's day and birthdays. Usually a simple exchange of a card or some chocolate is all that we do for Valentine's day. Hubby does make a point of always doing something for our daughter though on Valentine's day. She gets a huge kick out of a whole day to celebrate how much you love each other.
By the way, I've followed your blog for a long time, and I just love it. We just got word that Hubby is deploying this year, so I know that I will learn a lot from your experience in this area. Thanks for sharing your life with us!
Hello,
I am writing from the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) in collaboration with Part2 Pictures. We are in the process of finding subjects for our new documentary series, "Our American With Lisa Ling," that airs on OWN TV. One of our episodes is going to be dedicated to veterans who are returning from war, and we are hoping to get in touch with the spouse of a soldier who is about to return home from his first deployment from Iraq/Afghanistan, and is about to experience their first homecoming. Would you be interested in talking with us? Or if you know of anyone else who may be at the point in their lives where they are about to return home from service in the war, or are about to experience a homecoming of their military spouse, please let us know! I look forward to hearing from you soon. I appreciate your help. Thank you.
Best,
Liz
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liz@part2pictures.com
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