Deployment Question #12--The Dumbest & Nicest Thing You've Heard

I'm sure if you are on your 3rd, 4th, or 5th deployment, you have heard a thing or two or three or a dozen, that makes you get all riled up inside.

Then there are the things that are said to your spouse that make your skin crawl.

I've heard:
--I love my husband too much to let him go away like that.  (You think?  I just can't stand my husband, so I love sending him overseas to traipse through the Iraqi countryside, while I take care of all three kiddos by myself, and worry about him.  Good times I tell you.)

--At least he gets all that extra pay for being deployed.  (Of course!  I love him going to war because I can just sit back and roll around naked in all the money he is making.  Seriously, where do people come up with this?)

There's more, but then there have also been lots of positive things that I have heard too, and people that have gone out of their way to thank my husband or our family, and that means a lot.  Gunner was bumped up to first class after people watched him try to say goodbye to Jr when he was 13 days old.  He's had coffee bought for him, and lots of handshakes.

Gunner also makes a point of every Veteran that he sees, to go over to him and shake their hands, and thank them for their service.  They always seem surprised, which is sad.

What's the dumbest thing that you have had said to you?  How do you respond?

What's the nicest thing that someone has said to you or your spouse?

I don't expect people to thank my husband, but it's always nice to hear that he is appreciated.

Deployment Question #11--Do you believe in the War?

Ignore the second poll, something is screwed up, just answer on the first one!

I figured some wouldn't want to answer this in the comments, so I made the poll.  If you want to answer in the comments, I would love to know why you feel one way or the other.  Just curious, as I send Gunner off yet again.

Deployment Question #10--How can someone help?

There are a lot of people out there that want to help military families, but aren't really sure how to go about helping them.

I find it extremely hard to ask for help at any time, including when Gunner is deployed.  

Do you find it hard to ask for help?  

If someone were to offer to help you, what is the one thing that would make a huge difference to you?

A hot meal that you didn't have to prepare?  Watch the kids?  (This is a hard one for me, and won't happen unless I could really trust them.)  

A friend, Marilyn, sent me a care package one time, that was w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l.  It contained a movie for the kids, a mother-daughter book club series, that we worked our way through, some snacks, and some bath salts so I could make myself relax.  

What would make your life just a little bit easier while your spouse is deployed?

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I was recently sent a copy of The Ocean Between Us by Susan Wiggs to review for my blog via Big Honcho Media.

The book is a story about a Navy family and how they deal with deployments and the changes in the families over a period of time.  If you know me, you know that I LOVE any books about military life, and this one was no exception!

The Ocean Between Us is a powerful novel of love, duty and second chances.  Susan Wiggs deftly portrays the struggles and triumphs of an American family facing life’s greatest challenges as they come to understand the timeless lessons of the heart.

 

Grace Bennett has it all—three wonderful children, a devoted husband and a life of adventure and travel. But beneath the calm demeanor of an efficient Navy wife, Grace stands at the crossroads—of her life and her marriage. When she looks in the mirror, she doesn’t recognize the person staring back. She’s tired, out of shape and feeling invisible. Somewhere between her husband’s demanding career, raising a family, the constant uprooting and the Navy’s routine, Grace has lost her sense of self. Something needs to change. She needs to change.

 

Steve Bennett simply can’t understand the unraveling of his wife’s heart. He thought he was proving his love to her with each promotion. He believed he could still be a good husband and father while juggling an officer’s myriad duties. But he now realizes they were seeing their marriage through different eyes. And when a nearly forgotten secret resurfaces, Grace’s discontent comes into sharp focus. Now Steve must try to make their marriage right again before his next deployment. For himself. For his family. For the twenty years of shared history that have always anchored him to home.

 

Then duty calls.

 

Separated by an ocean of regrets and longing, Grace and Steve take a hard look at their faltering marriage, the love that brought them together and the family they cherish. They confront the choices they’ve made, the sacrifices they’ve rationalized and the dreams they’ve set adrift. 

 

But just as they come to grips with their marriage, the unthinkable happens—a disaster aboard Steve’s aircraft carrier shatters Grace’s world. As she gathers her children around her and waits for news, she faces a Navy wife’s worst nightmare—the cold truth that life’s biggest chances can slip away while you’re looking for guarantees.  (Synopsis provided to me)

I was provided a copy of this book for this review, but you too can win a copy and earn a $50 VISA gift card!  Who doesn't need a little pampering, especially as a military spouse?????

The Ocean Between Us

BOOK RELEASE + GIVEAWAY

One (1) Grand Prize winner receives:

• Get a little renewal in your life with a $50 VISA gift card
• Copy of The Ocean Between Us

Two (2) additional winners will receive a copy of the book!

In order to qualify:

    1 entry--leave a comment and tell me what your favorite aspect of military life is.

    1 entry--follow me on twitter  @ABW26 and leave a comment that you did

    1 entry--become a follower, of if you already are, then leave a comment!

I will  hold the drawing in two weeks on May 6th. 

Good luck!

Deployment Question #9--How much do you share?

How much do you share with your husband about things that go wrong at home and he's deployed?


How much does he share about what goes on "over there"?


Do you wish he shared more or less?  Does it help you to have more to worry about?


I hear a lot after the fact, when Gunner returns home, but not a lot while he is gone.  Each time his vehicle has hit an IED, he has told me, because he doesn't want me to hear it from someone else.  


I do tell Gunner what is going on at home too.  He knows I like to vent, and he also knows that I will take care of it, so he doesn't ever worry about it.  I'll let him know when he needs to worry! 


I know there are some people that hide a lot from the spouses, and others that share way too much.


How do you handle it all?

Block Leave Plans

Sometimes I have ideas.  Sometimes they are really good, but other times, after they come out of my mouth, I wonder what the heck I was thinking.

Today was one of those times.

Me:  Wouldn't it be fun to go to Utah?
Gunner:  That's a GREAT idea.
Me:  We could camp I guess.
Gunner:  Even better, I love camping.  Think of all the fun the kids will have.
Me:  Okay, I'll try to find a place.

Later after I had exhausted my research, I found two campsites located at the same place.

There are great reviews.

It's a beautiful location.

The catch???  There are no showers!!!

Gunner assures me that he will arrange a way for me to shower.

I told the kids that I had big and exciting news.

The girls started jumping around--"Are you having another baby???"

I was speechless, no way, no how.

When I finally gave them the "good news", Abs was jumping up and down.  Em, not so much.

Em:  How is this going to be fun?  Are we borrowing Oma and Opa's RV?
Me:  No, we're going to stay in tents!
Em:  Seriously?
Me:  Yep, and we don't have to shower the entire time we are gone!
Abs:  This is a dream come true.
Em:  You would think being dirty was a lot of fun.  Some of us have standards.

I could feel the love between them....almost...not really.  I did tell Em should could share a tent with her sister since we will have to find another tent or something as we only have a two person tent.

We will get back just in time to wash clothes, shower, and head out of town to my 4th triathlon of the season.  From there it's straight to Florida, and then back in time for block leave to end.

Whew.  A whirlwind.  Memories in the making.  Hopefully enough memories to last us for a year apart, and pictures to tell the stories.

Deployment Question #8--Does he want to go?

After Gunner's first deployment to Iraq, he received orders for Korea.  No one ever gets orders for Korea deleted, except Gunner.


Off he went on his second deployment to Iraq.


After that was over, he received orders for recruiting.  NO ONE gets orders for recruiting deleted.  The Friday before he was supposed to be there, they cancelled his orders.


Off he went on his third deployment to Iraq.


We PCSed to Colorado.  


When Gunner had orders for Korea and recruiting, he wasn't too excited.  It's not that he was dying to deploy, but then again he had spent years and years training for this job, so he also felt a sense of responsibility.  


I wasn't excited about him deploying, but I also felt that if he didn't go, he wouldn't be using his skills and his training as well, and I know he loves his job.


On the other hand, I know people that do anything and everything to get out of deployments. (NOTE:  NOT EVERYONE, there are some people that are just not deployable or in a unit that is going, it's the luck of the Irish.) Do you think people should have to complete at least one tour?  


So my question of the day, does he like deploying for the Army aspect of it?  (Let's be honest, most of them don't like to be away from their families, so that's always a reason to not want to go)  Does he feel a sense of obligation to deploy?  If he does have a sense of obligation or commitment to the task at hand, does that bother you?


P.S.  If you have any questions you want to see posted please email me at armybloggerwife AT gmail DOT com.