Thursday, August 5, 2010

Who's in this with me?

Who else is dealing with deployment right now?  I'd like to make sure I am reading your blog, so please leave a comment with a link!

While you are at it, why don't you give me your best deployment tip, I could use a few new ones.  Thanks!

31 comments:

urkalynne said...

I am no longer in a military relatinoship, because circumstances (read: his stupidity) broke our relationship, which separated me from that lifestyle. However, the last thing we "accomplished" together was a deployment to Afghanistan.

Just from creeping on your blog for a little bit, it sounds like you've got deployments wrapped up to an art! I am sure there is nothing I can say that you don't do already or haven't already heard.

You obviously don't need the typical "stay busy", because you've mentioned that your life will consist of coordinating bath time, bed time, dinner, life and everything in between, on your own. I'm sure that's enough to keep you busy for 30 of the 24 hours in a day! :)

I didn't have children during our deployment together, so most of my downtime was spent in sweat pants and hoodies, on a fellow "surviving deployment"s couch. I worked a lot, slept with my laptop in order not to miss contact, and counted the time on the in between. That doesn't seem like the best advice, but somehow it worked. I stayed sane (as much as possible), but I'm sure I could have applied better tactics.

I basically just surrounded myself with people who TRULY "knew what I was going through", which seemed to make it as easy as it could be, considering.

Wow. That was a lot of rambling :)

McMGrad89 said...

ABW, we don't do deployments anymore, but G-man does go to the Philippines for 6 months at a time. I can tell you what my mother did for us while my dad was away. Firstly, she never talked about deployment in a negative way. It was always like a very long "party" where we got to eat the things we liked that dad didn't like (pizza, pancakes for supper, fish, etc.) Later in life, A friend of hers made sure to mention to us at a PWOC meeting that we shouldn't use the phone time to tell dads all the bad things that are transpiring. (I have a hard time remembering that one.) Another thing my mom did when I was really little (pre-internet) was to make cassette recordings of her and me talking. I know we have skype, etc. but a CD of the kids singing or telling funny stories would be a nice thing to stick in his care packages.

You are pro ABW. You will survive. 20 years from now, you all will be able to look on this time as a source of great family stories.

Best wishes.

Kanani said...

Each day, do something for yourself. Whether it's taking time to walk, do yoga, read a book, make sure you take care of yourself.

Magnolias and Mimosas said...

We're not dealing with a deployment right now, but one of my favorite deployment tips is to plan something special for yourself the day he leaves. For me, it's a McDonald's double cheeseburger. It's so rare that I get one (in fact, the last time I had one was the day he left on the last deployment) but it's a little treat to me that helps to pick me up.

Amy said...

My husband is also currently deployed and I have 3 kids as well.

This is our first deployment so I don't have a ton of deployment advice that I'm sure you don't already know. I did buy my kids the Daddy dolls and they all love them!

The other thing I do, it celebrate the passing of every 25 days. Do something for myself whether it's a pedicure, a trip somewhere, a massage, or just a day alone. Seems to help keep me refreshed....

Julie the Army Wife said...

We have about 4-5 months to go, so we are gearing up for our 3rd one. Staying busy is such a good idea. I hope I can do that. I will have 3 kids this time so that makes me nervous.

Jill said...

We're at the beginning of a deployment. I agree with Amy - treat yourself to something special at least once a month. I have my parents watch my girls and I'll get a pedicure, go shopping, or enjoy a lunch out by myself. I rarely have a girlfriend go with me, so that I can just have some quiet time.

Jen said...

My husband is deployed with your husband right now and its our first deployment so I dont have any tips but I am just trying to set goals for myself that I want accomplished before he gets home.
You should follow my blog @
http://www.mrandmrsboots.blogspot.com/

Jessica said...

I'm going through our first deployment, but we don't have any kids. My best deployment advice for you would be to take some time for yourself. I know it will be hard with three kids, but you will need it because you will have to do everything and you will get exhausted!

http://meandhimandthearmy.blogspot.com

BryceandWhit said...

Hubby is deployed. Coming home for R&R in less then two weeks.
My advice is to set a goal. It made the first 6 months go by alot faster. My goal was to lose 40 pounds and I have lost a total of 53 so far! You fell better about yourself and it keeps you busy at the same time!

bryceandwhit.blogspot.com

Vintage Love and Photographs said...

My husband isn't deployed right now but has been 2 out of the past 3.5 years.

You know this I am sure but..STAY BUSY!! I do know that with kids it's a different dynamic and it's easier to be busy with kids lol But I try to turn deployments into a postive ME time by doing all the things I don't make time for while my husband is home. Do I look forward to him leaving for the ME time? Not at all but I think trying to make it into a postive helps me keep a little bit of my sanity.

Megan said...

My husband is deploying in a few months (our first) and we are in Germany. We do not have children yet so I dont think I can offer any advice about that but I am starting a list of goals that I want to accomplish and places here in Europe that I still want to see. I dont blog anymore but I have read yours for a while. :)

Kayla said...

I'm on Month 5 of the deployment. I love your blog!
My favorite piece of advice I was given is that thousands of spouses have done this before me, and they all know what I'm going through, so no one is going to judge me when I have chips and salsa for dinner. :)

Mrs. G said...

My husband is scheduled to deploy by the end of this year. This will be our first as a married couple and second together - his 4th overall.

You can find me at http://ourgreatestjourney.blogspot.com/

Wiley said...

I'm nearing the tail-end of a deployment (I hope!). It's our first and a half... We actually met when we were both deployed to the same location, but I was home 6 months before him, so this is our fist full deployment together. And from reading your blog I know there are dozens of things you could teach the rest of us!

That said, I have embraced the healing power of care packages and letters (from me to him.. my beloved DM is not much of a correspondent). It helps me feel connected even when I don't know where he is. And I have immersed myself in work more than usual. But the biggest help was having small milestones - they break up the length of the deployment and there's a sense of accomplishment.

Good luck & be strong when you can. We're all here for you in the other times.

The Undomestic Army Wife said...

I am! Been for just over 2 weeks now. And keep yourself busy... OR, get knocked up with twins. Worked for me! :)

Jena & Zac said...

Husband just left Sunday! This is our first and I don't have kids, so it's a new experience for sure. We live in Okinawa, Japan, so my friends here are my rock.

I'm a newbie, but my idea to keep motivated throughout is a "deployment chain countdown." You know, like the little ones you used to make in elementary school? Each link is a week (a daily countdown is too daunting for me)and inside each link is a little weekly "treat" like "go buy a new candle" or "make an appt for a pedicure this week." It's little treats so I have something to look forward to each week!

We have a blog about our overseas experiences at: zacandjena.blogspot.com

The Rock's Girl said...

I'm with ya :)

My deployment tip... I guess it all boils down to patience. Patience with yourself, your kids, your life, time, and with your husband. Goals are definitely good too, and staying busy is a good time passer too. I like the advice of doing something for yourself. Tonight, I ordered Chinese for dinner from our favorite restaurant.

Field of Dreams said...

I am also going through a deployment & it is our first. My husband is actually in the Army Reserves, so it was definitely a surprise to us/me (being that I had no military background or experience!!) But, we are over the 1/2 way mark & I have gotten through this one day at a time. Like everyone else says...stay busy, treat yourself, acknowledge the "not so good" days & pick yourself back up & pray! Surprising time goes by faster than we think!!!

Just Another MilSpouse said...

It's so funny that you are asking for advice, because I look to YOU for advice on getting through this. lol. We are on our third deployment (almost a quarter of the way through it). I can't give you any advice that you don't already know. Each deployment is different, different number of kids, different maturity levels, different stressors, etc. This deployment has been going by fairly smoothly, although yesterday and today I have been on a "I miss him" kick. Getting jealous when I see other couples and such.

Anyway, I am going through this with you, you aren't alone. I'm sorry I can't give you any advice, but I can be an ear. I'm a good listener.

Mowenackie said...

We are eight months into my husband's second deployment. I don't have much advice - I'm just trying to get through this one more gracefully than I did the first - but setting goals is good. I've also found that it's okay to enjoy the positives without feeling guilty. Things like: I don't have to cook dinner every night, I can pee with the bathroom door open...stuff like that!

Amber*Renee said...

We have a month down!

I used the deployment chain idea for my son. Each day we MAKE a link and he draws on it. I write something fun or great that happened that day. When we are done it will be used to decorate the house for homecoming.

Try and find some time to sleep. Its defiantly the biggest thing I am lacking right now!

Anonymous said...

This is totally different than most everyone else's.. but talk radio brings me about all of the comfort and "friendship" I need.
Patriotic conservative talk radio that fights for the country. It makes my young miseducated mind understand and support my man and country more.
Michael Savage has brought me the only good laughs I've gotten in the first 4.5 months of this deployent.

This of course with my dog, and my husband's buddy(who is also deployed)'s dog.

-Laura

Anonymous said...

This is totally different than most everyone else's.. but talk radio brings me about all of the comfort and "friendship" I need.
Patriotic conservative talk radio that fights for the country. It makes my young miseducated mind understand and support my man and country more.
Michael Savage has brought me the only good laughs I've gotten in the first 4.5 months of this deployent.

This of course with my dog, and my husband's buddy(who is also deployed)'s dog.

-Laura

Anonymous said...

This is totally different than most everyone else's.. but talk radio brings me about all of the comfort and "friendship" I need.
Patriotic conservative talk radio that fights for the country. It makes my young miseducated mind understand and support my man and country more.
Michael Savage has brought me the only good laughs I've gotten in the first 4.5 months of this deployent.

This of course with my dog, and my husband's buddy(who is also deployed)'s dog.

-Laura

Jessica said...

HI!
We will begin our 3rd (400 day) deployment in a few weeks. I am a SAHM to 2 kids.
I will definetly be doing the usual stuff...keep busy, set goals, etc.
Looks like there are quite a few of us going thru/about to be in a deployment.
I enjoy reading your blog!

http://just4crows.blogspot.com

ritalvm said...

YEP, blue star family as well! Husband also deployed from Ft Carson, this is our second tour.My advice is just keep busy, dont stress the husband out too much, keep yourself sane & positive, dont be a nagging wife to the other wives (eg I hate when wives constantly say their lives are over when their husbands gone, c'mon where's the "ARMY STRONG" spirit???) and keep the home coming ceremony as your ultimate destination goal!! :) (oh yeah the gym was a great stress buster to kick those deployment blues away!) follow me @ countdown to homecoming www.ritalvm.blogspot.com

Lindsey said...

I'm with ya! First month of our first deployment.

I take tylenol PM when I can't sleep, which is almost always. For the first 2 weeks, I stayed up past 1 am every night, and then had to wake up a few hours later, and decided that was not going to happen for a year. Especially if I've had a bad day and I know I will lay there and think too much.

I take my 2 year old to Braums when I'm feeling down, because it makes us both happy. I know she misses him as much as I do.

Its the little things that help tremendously!!

lala [mrs. new guy] said...

I don't want to be "that person" so I won't tell you that our deployment just ended a few months ago. But I will tell you that we have one coming up! I won't, however, tell you that it's just under a year from now. I will share, though, that my husband is leaving soon for "work ups," but I will refrain from mentioning that they are only one month at a time, and there are only 4 of them.

See? I managed to share pertinant information without sharing the stuff that might make you resent me. Maybe :]

Deployment tip? Start working out NOW because the end of the deployment comes faster than you realize, and doing crunches for the last 2 weeks before he's home won't really help.

Aracely said...

Going through a deployment right now. :) I'm a follower but my blog is http://armylovelife.blogspot.com

The one with the View said...

I recently began following your blog, and have enjoyed it. I will tell you that My family is going through a deployment currently as well. We are half way done. I would love for you to follow my blog, but really, you won't see much about the deployment, or Army life, etc. It's a photo blog mostly. Every now and again, I do get personal, but mostly (and I guess this is where my tip is) this is what I do for ME while DH is gone. I am an avid photographer, and my blog is where I showcase my stuff. SO please, follow me, just don't expect to hear too much about anything Army (which, really...Might be a good thing! LOL)
Click my name or visit
http://itsmycameraseye.blogspot.com/