Sunday, May 4, 2008

What do I do????

It's 9:38 and Abs is in her room crying for her dad again. What the heck do I do? Nothing seems to make her feel better. I've tried pictures. Daddy dolls. Flat Daddies. He writes. He calls. He talks to them online. There's no way I can get him back here. She knows where he is, what he is doing and how someone else really needs his help right now, even more than we need him.

It's heartbreaking though. The tears keep coming. We are only 8 weeks into this, we still have 57 weeks to go. A countdown calendar right now would be daunting to her. She's only 7. She even suggested that I join the Army and take his place. How's that for love???

Sigh....any ideas?

12 comments:

Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

Wow, that is really tough. I am so sorry for all of you - it's especially hard on kids because they don't have the skills to comprehend like adults do.

I hope your sweet girl is able to smile again really soon. My heart goes out to you.

-Andrea

Susan said...

I wish I had an idea for you. It really is so tough on the kids. My 7 yr old didn't cry much, but did act out in other ways. I tried to do special one-on-one things with her. She finally was allowed a later bedtime than her younger siblings and we would spend that time chatting or doing pedicures, whatever.

Anonymous said...

My suggestion is to have small, one week or every two week things/outings/etc to look forward to. Get her focused on/looing forward to something other than daddy missing. I did it w/my kids and it seemed to work well. Small milestones made the big one that much easier to deal with. Good luck.

Tiff said...

Poor Abs! I wish I had some advice to give but I have never been in this situation before. I like Anonymous' suggestion though! I will keep her in my prayers.

dutchgirl said...

No ideas. Just ((HUGS)) for you and Abs both.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you could also "celebrate" the end of each week as one week closer to him being home. Not so much the 8 down 57 to go but "Celebrate another week closer to..." But I like DD#3's suggestion as much or more.

rose_michelle said...

Have you tried to see if ACS or CYS have programs for children of deployed Soldiers. It might be easier for her to hang out and talk to children who are going through the same thing.

trying said...

i wish i had some great suggestion but not so much. hang in there you guys sound like your making your husband very proud holding down home life.

I like the suggestion of something to look forward to every (or every other) week. I did that thru my first deployment right after we were married. every two weeks on the day he left I would try to do something nice for myself. I was a little older then seven but it did help.

Catherine said...

No help here just a hug from across the miles!

MaryLu said...

Same as anonymous, we started Movie and Pizza night on Fridays which gave my kids something to look forward to.
Maybe have her write letters to her dad or draw pictures telling him how she missed him.
Tough stuff, so sorry.

ABWF said...

I read somewhere about a family that used a paper chain (small circles of paper linked together in a chain) for the little kids who couldn't handle a countdown calendar. The kids would take off one of the "links" each day. At least I *think* it was each day. You could either do daily or weekly. Just be sure to add some "extras" either way. If there are too many at the end, she won't mind that mommy made a mistake when counting :)

Breanne Vasquez said...

Just found your blog - My daughter was one - two when husbad was in Iraq so videos worked for her. Below is a link that has great info on things for kids during deployment. Will keep yall in our preayers.

http://www.armymwr.com/cys-images/Deployment%20A%20Compendium%20of%20Resources.pdf