Monday, December 15, 2008

Houston, we have a problem...

I was down to two binkies. Somehow when Junior got up this morning he binky was missing and I couldn't find the other one stashed away. He cried this morning but didn't ask for it after daycare today, so I forgot....until now. My sweet baby boy is crying himself to sleep over a binky. I went in there to calm him down, covered him up with his fuffy, and then he asked me to please look for his binky. I told him they were all gone, and he started up again. I reminded him that he was a big boy, and he told me no "I a baby and I want my binky!". If you can use that many words, it's time for it to go! This is the same little tot that for the first 5 months of his life while Gunner was deployed, I rocked him in his carseat with my foot while one arm dangled off the bed and held his binky in because he couldn't figure it out. I was too tired then to fight him.

We had to run to Office Depot tonight in the freezing cold to get a toner cartridge for my copier. We get in there and Abs has to go to the bathroom. I send Emily along to monitor and I am working with the sales clerk to find the right cartridge while chasing Junior who has managed to poop. I am saddled with everyone's jackets and hats, my 500-lb purse and my list. Abs comes running out, so I get her to hold Junior's hand so I can pay for the cartridge. We are still waiting on Em to come back from the bathroom at this point, so I start to look at construction paper.

I'm perusing the construction paper and Abs is on the same aisle with Junior in tow. Twenty seconds later it is quiet and Abs is sitting on the floor alone reading a book. I couldn't find Junior anywhere. I round the corner after calling his name and hear all this giggling. The boy has put himself inside a backpack and is trying to hide. I drag him out, grab my cartridge, all the coats, hats and gloves, and then go back to get Abs who has decided that she wants to help again, but this time she wants to carry the construction paper.

By this point I am wondering why I didn't get a cart. I load Abs up with construction paper, grab Junior's hand, the coats, hats, gloves and my purse. Abs decides that the paper is too heavy and she would rather checkout the m&m display.

Thankfully Em appeared around this time, and I got her to take over Junior, and I wrestled Abs and my purchases up to the front. Em decides that this is the time to tell me that Abs found a bottle of air freshener in the bathroom. Apparently Abs got done before Em and washed her hands. Around that time Em heard all this noise and asked Abs what she was doing. According to Em the conversation went something like this:

Em: What are you doing?
Abs: Oh just freshening up the place a bit
Em: Do you have air freshener?
Abs: Duh
Em: You better put it down, mommy will be mad
Abs: She likes things to smell nice
Em: Not in a public bathroom
Abs: Whatever
Em: I'm telling
Abs: I stopped
Abs: The bottle is empty now
Abs exits the scene.

Em said the place smelled like a giant flower. Great. I apologized to the salesclerk, and headed out with everyone and everything.

I asked Abs about what happened once we hit the car.

Me: Abs, what happened in the bathroom
Abs: Did something happen in there?
Em: She's talking about the air freshener
Me: Em, let her talk
Abs: I don't recall anything special happening in there.
Em: You're lying Abs.
Me: Let me handle it Em.
Abs: Oh, you mean the bottle of air freshener that Em sprayed all over the bathroom even the mirrors?
Em: I did not
Abs: Well it wouldn't be me, I was trying to wash my hands. You know how those pre-teens can be mommy.

I then reminded everyone of proper bathroom etiquette and decided that I will not venture out in public again for the rest of this deployment.


Gypsy at heart said...

It is soooo very funny....when it happens on your watch!

I still haven't been able to get the chapstick off the bathroom wall.

Uncle Dan said...

I thought chapstick was like a wax, it might have to be scraped off, I keep a small paint scraper for removing such stuff.

Anonymous said...

This is exactly the laugh I needed today!!!

The Mrs. said...

could have been worse, there could have been handling of a urinal cake too!