Monday, February 18, 2008

When does it get better?

Abs is going to be 7 next month. She has always been one of those kids that you have to watch almost constantly. Over the past year or so I thought she was improving and could be trusted. I guess at least the things she does now don't cause as much of a mess as they used to.

At our old house I had a brand new gallon of olive oil that I had purchased from Sam's. I lost it when I ran to the bathroom and she figured out how to open it and she emptied it on the kitchen floor. Then there was the Sam's size box of detergent she poured out. Thank goodness that was powder. She once decorated the white cabinets with a lime green sharpie, and there's always the story of how my husband left out the desitin and she painted herself white and the olive green couch while I took a shower for 5 minutes. Desitin doesn't come out of furniture, and it take a while to disappear from your hair too. (Mind you she did this about 10 minutes before we were to leave to go to a Thanksgiving feast at Em's school. Timing is everything.)

Abs then went through the lotion in the hair stage. She found a permanent green stamp pad and smeared it all over her body because she wanted to be a green smurf. She was banned from markers because she used to color her body with them. She's cut her own hair numerous times and even let one of her friends take a huge chunk out. When she was in diapers she used to smear poop all over her body, clothes and room during nap time. (Nap time was cancelled after a few times of that mess) She dumped out a bottle of shampoo into the carpet in housing. There was the time she managed to find a pen and make it explode and she smeared it all over herself, her bed and wrote her name on her antique dresser.

These are just the things I can think of off the top of my head that my cute darling daughter does in her spare time.

Today Gunner took Em and Junior to the commissary and I had just returned home from the gym and wanted to shower. I usually keep a few dinosaur movies on DVR to entertain her in cases like this so she started to watch one about the T-Rex Sue. I started my water and realized I had forgotten to get some towels so as I headed to the linen closet I heard Abbie in the kitchen. Knowing she was up to something I came racing down the hallway and Abbie was running back to the couch to resume her movie. This all happened in about 1 minute. I asked her what she had been up to and she told me "Nothing Mommy!". I went into the kitchen to find a HUGE pile of salt on the floor.

I went back into the living room and tried to talk to her.

Me: Abs, there's a pile of salt on the floor.

Abs: Really, how did that get there?

Me: Ummmmm......(at this point I am thinking that someone else might have actually had something to do with it, but then I face reality). Why did you do it?

Abs: I didn't do anything.

Me: Come on Abs, why did you do it.

Abs: Wasn't me.

(Heidi recommended a book a while back and I got it and actually remembered that there was something about asking questions in there, I really should finish reading it, but I at least got this part down.)

Me: What happened Abs? (yeah it was a simple change of words, but it worked)

Abs: Oh I spilt a little bit of water and I knew that salt would absorb it so I sprinkled a little on the water.

(There was no water on the floor that I saw)

Me: Thanks for letting me know, let's go clean it up.

So we cleaned up the mess together, and I was relieved that it wasn't olive oil or toothpaste (that was last week in the hallway when she was supposed to be sleeping).

I did get my shower without anymore trouble, but I will be reading that book again tonight!


Blogging for Friends said...

How funny you mentioned something like this today! We were talking over supper and somehow I thought of your suggestion about writing a book about the comments that come out of my kids' mouths. Somehow, the conversation turned to the time when Brett was playing outside and decided he had to take a crap. He wiped his butt with a stick then ended up turing his underwear inside out because there was still poop stuck to them!

No suggestions for you, though. Overall, my kids were pretty easy when they were little, other than things like coloring on the walls and each cut their own hair once. The boy also had a fascination with flushing small toys down the toilet and the girl left painted handprints in my mother's bathroom. Remember, you aren't having the same issues I am having over girls...........YET!

MaryLu said...

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with a child like this. I do feel your pain, though your writing sounded a bit funny, I know the pain of having a child who constantly does these sort of things. I have 3 of them.
My oldest, the worst of the 3, once took orange spray paint and proceeded to paint the outside of our quarters at Fort Leavenworth. His reasoning? He said he was shooting bugs like it was bug spray.
Hopefully the book will give you good insight on how to deal with her.

ABW said...

Blogging--Your son has always been a hoot! I'm telling you that you would have a bestseller on your hands! I only hope that I can have such a good line of communication with my children as you do with yours.

MaryLu--I don't think it's a bad thing that Abs is like this in the least. While it can be trying at times, I am fortunate to have a child with such spirit! Who knows what she will be capable of in the future! Sounds like you have your hands full as well, enjoy their spirit!

Catherine said...

I am laughing so hard I can hardly type! I have to say that the salt on water thing is pretty brilliant - like sand on an oil spill. Of course I would remind her a towel is just as effective with less clean up!

Funny you should write this since we had our own "mommy’s back is turned incident" today. Apparently my 4 year decided she wanted a makeover and that it was high time my 6 year old son begin his career as a hairdresser. It began innocuously enough with pony tails and barrettes but escalated to yellow safety scissors when I went to fold laundry. I can’t get those blasted scissors to cut paper but it took that pony tail right off in one swipe. We went for a reparative haircut but she still has some pretty elaborate layers.

I read them both the riot act and banished them to their rooms. Then, I grabbed the phone and hid in the bathroom where to call my mom and laugh until my belly hurt!

Erin said...

Oh, man.

Gypsy at heart said...

It is soooo funny when you write about it!
Don't forget the times I have kept her to give you some relief.....

...She went after the broom and dustpan to clean up her mess but didn't return in a timely manner. I found her emptying an extra tall can of Ajax cleanser onto the kitchen floor.

....I kept her and DS' dogs at the same time. The dogs were fine, but she thought they were hungry so she got a gallon of milk out of the fridge and poured it on the floor for them.

''''She wrote on my brand new sewing machine with a black Sharpie. Thank goodness alcohol took that off, but I didn't let her see me use it.

....While I was fixing her some dessert, she decided her food didn't taste good anymore. She had emptied a container of salt over it.
....and the list goes on. I LOVE Abs!

Jesster said...

My brother was a lot like that when he was younger. He loved to try and take apart random pieces of technology (especially computers!) which may not have been so bad if he had taken the initiative to put them back together or out of the walk-way (@ 3 in the morning, tripping over them can prove to be very loud and increasingly painful...) I used to love to cut my bangs too, (just my bangs, nothing else oddly) and My other two brothers had a habit of tracking mud every where they went, even if it hadn't rained for weeks...

I know a small portion of what you're going through with taking care of the mischief-maker too, because I lived with a roommate for three months and looked after her 2 -year-old when I got home from school. People say that silence is golden, they're lying. It's the scariest thing in the world because you never know what they are up to or where they are. I considered tying a bell around his wrist or ankle so that I could always hear him...