Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Making Time Go Too Quickly?

Gunner wrote on facebook that he was ready for this deployment to be over.

It reminded me of when Junior was born.

Gunner came home two days before Junior was born on R&R, and left when he was 13 days old.  I was left with three kids, lots of stitches (TMI, I know), and I didn't know if I should wish the remaining 6 months away or not.

I looked at Junior every day and saw how much he was changing, and I just wanted to savor every last minute with him, because he was my last baby.  I knew Gunner was missing his first smile, his first laugh, and a lot of other firsts, which made me sad.

On the other hand, we missed Gunner terribly, and he wanted to be home.  Did I want to rush Junior growing up in exchange for him being home?  How do you rationalize that in your head?

In the end I just took it one day at a time, and it was all good.  The second half of the deployment did fly by, so I was happy about that but also sad.

Now I find myself in a similar but very different position.  Junior is growing up fast.  Em's a teenager, Abs is Abs, and he's missing it all.  Sometimes I wish time would just fly by and he could be home.  The sad part is, that once he is home it won't be long till Junior is in Kindergarten (assuming he ever potty trains) and we have no "little" ones anymore.
(meeting his son 6 months later 2006)

Where did the time go?


Just Another MilSpouse said...

I have struggled with the same thoughts too. I want to wish away the deployment but at the same time this is a big year in our kid's lives and I don't want to miss it. On the other hand, it hurts to know that their Dad is missing it.

I am torn just like you.

Anonymous said...

I'm trying to enjoy our baby's first year of life but at the same time I want it to fast forward to her first birthday because then her daddy will be home. It totally sucks that he is missing EVERYTHING but the first week. And let's face it, while babies are cute their first week, they aren't very much fun. It hurts and I catch myself just being lost when I talk to him because I want to tell him her new stuff and everything but I don't want to make him feel bad because he is missing it.

Uncle Dan said...

We weren't married when I was in the Army but I also missed out on a lot of our girls first time events as I was working 10 to 12 hour days to get us where we are. It's not always a military position that fathers are in.

Erin said...

I feel the same way! I was just thinking about this the other day...D is about to leave for another deployment. I know I am going to be wishing the days away...but when he comes home, M will be 2! It is hard to balance wanting the time to slow down so my little girl won't grow up so fast, and wanting it to go fast so my husband can hurry up and come home.

Vintage Love and Photographs said...

I've always been the same way with deployments. While I wish the actual time apart would speed by I do not want life to speed by.

Kim said...

I felt the same during this last deployment. I tried to capture as much as I could on camera but it just isn't the same, not by a long shot.

Lemon Stand said...

I'm feeling rather old having been where all of you are at, what seems like years ago. Even when they are not babies or even toddlers or young children, the separation is never easy. Our eldest is now nineteen and making noises about enlisting. Our youngest is twelve.

I have noticed though, that our kids don't take time with family for granted. I wonder if that is a side effect of military life?

Amanda said...

I have been there and I definitely understand this. It's so hard to balance those feelings.

We're entering the final push until my husband's retirement date and, while it's different, we're going through some of the same emotions. We're very excited at the prospect of starting our non-military life (scared, of course, but excited!) but when that time gets here our oldest will be 18 and a freshly graduated from high school. It's hard to align those feelings in my head.

I do think that military families sometimes have a unique perspective on the passage of time. I think it's a blessing, really.