Thursday, April 22, 2010

Deployment Question #10--How can someone help?

There are a lot of people out there that want to help military families, but aren't really sure how to go about helping them.

I find it extremely hard to ask for help at any time, including when Gunner is deployed.  

Do you find it hard to ask for help?  

If someone were to offer to help you, what is the one thing that would make a huge difference to you?

A hot meal that you didn't have to prepare?  Watch the kids?  (This is a hard one for me, and won't happen unless I could really trust them.)  

A friend, Marilyn, sent me a care package one time, that was w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l.  It contained a movie for the kids, a mother-daughter book club series, that we worked our way through, some snacks, and some bath salts so I could make myself relax.  

What would make your life just a little bit easier while your spouse is deployed?

Don't forget to enter my giveaway here!


Anonymous said...

I do not ask for help. And I have never had anybody offer their help either.

But this time around I would so take up somebody's offer if they wanted to mow my yard for me. Being pregnant right now with it getting warmer and then having a brand new baby when he leaves I think that is going to be a challenge of mine to get it done. I can do it, but it would be so much easier if somebody else offered to help me with it.

USNchic said...

I've never been much for asking for help, but this time around I have some great neighbors that I can rely on. They help with the kids when I have FRG meetings or appointments. The husband mows my lawn and is always on hand to fix things, or at least attempt to fix them.

I would say the biggest help is having someone to watch the kids, but I only ask for help when I truly need it. It would be nice if someone just watched the kids so I could have a break, either to take a nap, catch up on house work, or get my hair done!

Also, being that I have two small kids, I don't have anyone to cook big meals for, so I pretty much live on frozen dinners. I LOVE being invited over for dinner! :)

Erin said...

I didn't ask for help during my deployment... though i needed it. I didn't feel that anyone I knew understood well enough to really help me much, since most of the help I needed was emotional. I just went through it alone.

Many people offered to be there for me prior to the deployment, but they all sorta disappeared when it actually came to it.

Next time, I will be more ready to accept help when offered, but less willing to believe help will actually be on the way. Though, I suppose those are kinda contradictory statements. LOL :)

Jessica said...

I am not much for asking for help...but during our past 2 deployments I was so blessed with a lot of offers...yard work, house work, child care, meals...I did not have to ask for it. Of coure, even when asked, I felt "weird" saying yes, please. #3 is quickly approaching...a lot of offers are already coming in...we feel so blessed.

Vi said...

I too have never really been one to ask for help. However when we were at Hood the Mom group I co-owned started up a babysitting swap and it was great.

With our third deployment I don't plan on asking for help, but I know there are at least 3 ladies here that would more than happy too.

Time For Something New said...

Hi! I love reading your blog and always look forward to an update! I have a few questions up on my latest post, and if you had the time, I would really love your advice :)

Have a great day!
Ashlie :)

Austin Army Wife said...

I have a difficult time asking for help... It would be nice if someone wanted to show up and bring me dinner once in a while... As longs as they don't offer to come over and cook... not that that isn't a generous offer, but they usually end up making more of a mess and then I have to clean my kitchen.

I recently dropped off a large 'Deployment Survival Guide' bag to y girl "B"- Hubs just got the Warno they are going back. It was filled with great stuff, stuff that helps me through, some that helps me cope. Bubbles, deodorant, a journal, a pretty pen, a great movie (I chose Footloose), double chocolate brownie mix, a three pack of Large boxes of Kleenex (her first deployment) and a GI Joe figurine, since her "real life" Joe (we're Army) will be gone for a while, bottle of wine and a few other things. I sure wish someone would have done something like that for me.
Anyhow, ya, it's hard to ask for help, almost as if we have to prove to someone that we can do it all on our own. I think before the next deployment, I will make myself a deployment survival kit, with everything that I will need/want to comfort me!

Wiley said...

A hug.
Living by myself I find I start to need touch after a while.
And besides, if someone's prepared to hug you they're probably also going to drag you off for a coffee and let you unload on them, too.

lauren_troy said...

If someone asked me what they could do to help my first answer would be "find a way to bring him back or make it so he doesn't have to leave!" but thats not very my second answer would be "find me a roommate" I have already talked to friends about moving in when Troy leaves for school next summer. The hardest part about it all is feeling alone. I think that if anything would really help it would be to just have another adult around, a good friend, someone I know I could cry to in the middle of the night when I'm missing my husband.

trooppetrie said...

you could so make this a linky, i would love to copy the questions to put on my blog